More Dumb Stuff I Do

I did not expect this level of dirty and underhanded methods from a people who hold the game in such esteem and reverence. Yet to show up to the Vegas Tournament completely sober and rested has brought the Canadians to a new low. It flies in the the face of everything beer league hockey stands for and just proves that there is nothing they won't do to win. I hope they are ashamed of themselves.
By some miracle of fate i managed to survive with all my teeth intact, my body on the other hand is going to need a week to recover. Apparently "busting your ass" is not just an expression. Mine is most certainly malfunctioning in some way. The referees were shall we say disinterested and i took some good hits. As a result the pace was absolutely breakneck. The Canadians where great to watch. They picked us apart so effectively i had to remind myself to keep playing and not just stand there in amazement in how good they were. I really had to step up and i played better and faster than i have in a really long time. The tournament drove home how lazy i've been playing.

The Calender Should Be Out Soon

Soaring to new heights yet unattained, i now stand amongst the rank of the elite urban warriors protecting and serving as i must do when life is on the line. Let me explain. when one practices super villainy such as myself eventually the need for a evil lair becomes absolute. I have recently found myself to this point as nefarious and diabolical projects were beginning to spill out of the office into less evil environments. Not to mention that long hikes for tools back and forth were annoying resulting in implements of destruction being left out and not returned to their proper places. Mrs. Evil is patient but she still gets annoyed resulting in less than evil fun time. So I'm in the process consolidating and converting the garage into one massive headquarters for heinous acts of an unspeakable nature.
Enter winter, the most vile of seasons and the evil lair has no central heat. A rather dubious kerosene heater was brought out of deep storage and pressed into service. Sure, many high ranking super villains have run their lairs 24/7 but i simply haven't got the budget so there is a bit of a power up delay before things are fully online, i.e. not totally freezing. With the kerosene heater, about 20min. So activating the power up sequence i returned to the house to await the dastardly fun which would no doubt ensue. When i returned at the appointed time i was greeted with dense smoke emanating from the frame of the secret entrance and the sure knowledge that i was about to witness a chemically driven fire of epic proportions. I have no patience for OSHA and my chemical safety protocols are lax.
The phrase "so thick you can cut it with a knife" while often overused is a completely accurate description of what i experience when i opened to door. I've never experienced anything quite like it. The air had mass, a lot of mass and was completely opaque. There are 4 four foot shop lights on the ceiling and it was completely dark. Fortunately the fire was contained in the heater itself and once i located said offending heater i managed to turn it off.

The penalty for failure is death.

So a new propane shop heater is now in service and power up times have been reduced to 5 minuets. A serendipitous byproduct of all this is the entire lair is now covered in soot inadvertently improving the aura of evil it projects.

Sticky Nugs of Dank Cauliflower

Behold my hydroponic production facility producing lettuce at a mere $50 a head. Ah, but the kids like it and having some green around and bright light will probably help me through the despair of winter. After some rigorous analysis in the form of tallying up my receipts, I've determined that there can be only one product that is profitable under a hydroponic system. Judging from the walk in clientele at the hydroponics store, I'm pretty sure i was the only one there growing vegetables. I must admit to a certain fascination if not down right temptation. How often do you get a chance to screw criminals and the government at the same time. It would be effortless and undetectable. However the state and the federal government seem to be locked in some heroic conflict over who gets to violate me as a free citizen. I think I'll wait and see where the dust settles.

Anyhooh it's been an interesting undertaking. Historically the only plants that got water in my house are the ones that climbed off the shelf and drank strait from the tap. Needless to say there have been numerous botanical casualties. I often feel like some ogre sized retard asphyxiating and crushing the poor kittys i love so dearly. Under this system the plants get automatically watered three times a day and spend 18 hours under direct light, also automatically controlled. Perhaps the plants are finally safe.